Judge vrs Love

1 Corithians 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never fails.

 

Where are your priorities?

What do you give importance to?

At the end of the day...

What really matters?

 

I was born and raised in the Apostolic faith.

I'm a born again,

tongue talking,

holy rollin,

baptized in Jesus Name

Believer.

I wear skirts below the knee and my hair is uncut.

I believe there is only one God and His name is Jesus.

 

I believe all these things, but does that make me a "christian"?

 

Being raised in this

I've seen the long and the short of it.

The good and the bad.

The beautiful and the ugly.

And I may offend a few people with this post,

but I only say what I'm about to say because I care.

 

Apostolic

Pentecostals

UPC

ALJC

PAW

. . . .it doesn't really matter the organization,

All are known for their holiness.

Their modesty.

Their "truth"

Their doctrine.

but sadly, mostly for their judgment.

 

For some reason through out the ages we have got it in our thick skulls that we know the one and only way to heaven.

To extent that is true.

We do preach that Jesus is the only way.

[Acts 2:38]

But we also preach that if a girl cuts her hair... its a shame.

If a man has a tattoo... He's defiling his body.

 

Before I go on

don't get me wrong.

I believe in standards.

I believe in Holiness.

My hair is uncut and goes clear down my back.

My skirt is way below my knee and there is no makeup on my face.

 

But those are my convictions...

 what I don't believe is that if my sister does not do the same she will not make it into heaven.

 

I've had so many young girls come up to me struggling with holiness issues.

Whether it's a matter of just having a hard time following it.

Understanding it. Being accepted.

or for most of them its the matter of they're judged if they don't follow it.

 

I've never understood what gave churches the right to tell a young lady that she is a sinner because she wore pants to school last week.

Because her skirt didn't go quite below her knee she was called a slut.

Because her hair doesn't grow very fast...people assume she cuts it....oh how could she?!?!?

WHO CARES.

 

Since when is that any of your business.

That is between her and God.

 

I'm more worried about her heart.

Where does it lie.

Because if she can clean her heart out.

Dedicate that to God. First and foremost.

She will soon gain a relationship with God.

And holiness will follow.

It won't have to be shoved,

pushed onto,

or convinced.

It will be her heart's desire.

 

So let God do the judging.

And that goes for everything.

That young man who just started coming to your church and got the Holy Ghost on Sunday...

but is still smoking. . . .give him break. Let God work on his heart.

All you need to do is pray and be there for him.

And stop worrying about how everyone else is living,

and start paying attention to what being a Christian really is.

 

. . . .Helping

. . . .Loving

. . . .Caring

. . . .Giving

 

When was the last time you stopped a stranger and told them, "God loves you"

Or gave that extra change in your wallet to a homeless person.

 

We are so quick to judge, but so hesitant to love.

 

1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

With Love,

Ally

 



In Tune with His Plan!

Since I was 12 I felt a calling...

Little did I know that calling was going to change my life entirely.

It caused me to make different decisions then my peers, 

friends and even family. 

It drew me away from things and drew me closer to others.  

Gave me joy 

Gave me tears

Sent me 1100 miles away from home to go to Bible College. 

Now this calling 

is make me feel out of place. 

But not in a bad way....I suppose. 

I sometimes feel alone. 

Living off campus I get left out of a lot, 

and don't really know what is going on.

I also work a lot so I just don't have much time and when I do I like to spend it alone.

It's been on my heart though lately. 

It's kinda of a hard time for me. 

Being alone. 

But I was told the other day why I was dealing with this. 

A teacher and I got to talking and he said did you ever think that possibly the reason you are going through this period of aloneness, is to get a better relationship with God. You have a special calling in your life and God is going to have to work a little longer on you to get to that place where he needs you. 

Funny thing about this is I just had this conversation with my friend pretty much suggesting the same thing. 

God confirmed it. 

You know just when you think that you must be crazy. He sends someone along to let you know you are right on track with His plan. 

I feel really in tune with Him lately. This and then Wednesday...

 I had $13 to my name and no gas in my car, but it really wasn't to my name because it was God's. I argued with him all the way to church about just keeping $3 for gas so I could get to school Thursday, but he won that argument and I gave it all to him. I then got a text message from my teacher saying there was no class thursday. So now I can wait till Friday when I get paid to put gas in my car:) Moral of the story pay your tithes people because God is good and He never leaves the righteous forsaken or seed begging for bread!

Feels good to know I'm doing something right. 

Are You Pregnant?

I have a pet

Her name is Pearl

Pearl is a ...Tarantula

 

I know I'm crazy, but discussing my craziness is not the agenda so moving on....

 

 

Spiders do this really cool thing called molting.

They shed their outer skin because they are growing out of it and need new one.

When they shed this skin they are truly a different creature.

There skin is brighter and they themselves are more energetic.

 

Kind of like when we become new creatures in Christ. II Corinthians 5:17

We shed away are old skin and put on new.

And when we do, we are new people.

Filled with joy and God's light shinning in us.

 

Another reason Spiders molt is because they are pregnant.

Thus she is growing.

 

I think this is where most people in the church are or need to be.

 

We have a new coat, a new identity in Christ.

And now it's time to give birth.

 

Before the spider molts it will stop eating,

it will drink a ton more than usual

and it almost seems like they are in a bad mood.

I think it's because they get uncomfortable in the skin they are in.

 

We need to get uncomfortable in the skin we are in.

We need to be uncomfortable with being content.

Going through the motions.

We need to birth a burden.

 

We have been given a great commission...

Matthew 28:19-20

 

¹⁹ Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the NAME(Jesus) of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

²⁰ Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

 

It's time this generation, I included, birth a burden for lost souls.

 

I recently came to a self awareness that my time here on earth is meaningless.

No, really it is ...unless I do as God commanded.

I go through life worrying about selfish things...

What am I going to wear tomorrow...

How am I going to pay for...

What am I going to do this weekend...

 

I get on my knees and pray God do this for me do that for me...

When I should be praying Kingdom prayers.

 

Lord, impregnate me with a burden for this world.

 

I don't know about you, but the though of one soul

spending eternity in Hell

sickens me.

 

 

In His Service,

Ally

Like I'm the Only Girl in the World

Rihanna knew what she was talking about when she sung

 "I want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world"

 

I'm really sick of guys!

 

I need three things....

Consistancy, Commitment, and Consideration.

 

You guys who say I'm beautiful one day then the next day pay no mind to me...

I rather you leave me alone.

I don't need you

And I'm better off without you.

 

If you like me...tell me

If you don't....then stop acting like you do.

 

I have feelings....and a heart....

and I rather them not be messed with.

 

I usually don't make post like this, but I needed to let off some steam!

 

Point is if I'm not everything you want

and you don't want to treat me with respect and like the jewel that I am

Then lets just be friends and call it day!

God has someone special for me ... and chances are you're not him.

The Spoken word by P4CM's Janette said it best....

 I will know him
 Because when he speaks, I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom.

His ability to lead will remind me of Moses.

His faith will remind me of Abraham.

His confidence in GOD’s word will remind me of Daniel.

His inspiration will remind me of Paul.

His heart for God will remind me of David.

His attention to detail will remind me of Noah.

His integrity will remind me of Joseph.

His ability to abandon his own will, will remind me of the disciples.

And, his ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of CHRIST.

But I won’t need to identify him by any special ‘Matthews’ or ‘Marks’

… because GOD'S WORD will be tatted all over his heart.

So honey I know its not you
Cause you don't even sound or shine like The Son.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And all you can whisper is sweet, empty nothings. Which mean nothing.

You can't even pray when you need to. Asking you to fast would be absurd.

So forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the WORD.

Nope definitally not you....

 

Thank you and God Bless

The Center of My Life

Since we were 10, us girls have thought about that special day.

The day we leave our families,

change our last name, 

and spend the rest of our lives with that young man we thought only existed in our dreams.

We plan that day as if it's in a couple days

from who are bridesmaids will be, 

what are dress will look like, 

right down to the colors and flowers we will have. 

We knew what kind of house we wanted to live in, 

how many children we would have  

and we even picked out names for these children.

It's in woman's nature to be a wife and a mother. 

Even the bible talks about all that woman should be...

A submissive wife and caring mother. 

We get our hopes up so high trying to find this "soul mate"

And many of times we let guys get the best of us 

and we are left heart broken and doubting such love exist. 

Don't leave me hanging. I know I'm not the only one. 

I thought I was going to marry him.

In fact I had what I like to call "wedding fever". 

It was bad. 

I was addicted to Pinterest....

I was so wrapped up in this idea of marriage, I completely forgot my true purpose in life.

I've seen it happen time and time again. 

Girls make a man the center of their life. 

Their reason for moving. 

Their reason for not going to college. 

Their reason for changing churches. 

Changing hair color.

Changing themselves.

But there is so much to life then finding a man and getting married. 

When I was 12 I wasn't called to be a mom.

I wasn't called to have this beautiful wedding. 

I was called to a ministry. 

Don't get me wrong I'm still a girl...

I still want to find that someone special...

but, someone once told me the bible says "he that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing"

Not she that findeth a husband...

Let him find you

 Rather, let God take control of it. 

And you just center your life around God and the things of His kingdom and I truly believe He will give you the desires of your heart.

Jesus be the center of my life:) 

With Love, 

Ally

I'm A Woman...W-O-M-A-N

And Proud! 

Frequent mood swings, weight fluctuations, cramps, babies, taking care of 

 a messy house, and never having anything to wear.

Oh yes I love being a woman. 

Caring and sweet personality, delicate frame, a since of innocence and purity. True beauty, inside and out. Strong, but submissive. 

These are qualities we are suppose to have anyway. Although many times we find ourselves aggressive, impure, a mess, ugly and fat. Yep been there many times. 

But yet I am proud to say I am a woman....

Lately I have been very involved in woman's ministry in my church and school. 

I love it. I love giving woman hope and helping them find self worth. 

Recently we had a ladies tea at my church. The theme was "True Beauty". 

The kind you find inside not out. 

See, unfortunately beauty fades. We get old, fat and ugly, but the beauty I'm talking about never fades. It's the kind of beauty that is found in women like Rehab, Hannah, and Ruth. Woman who were beautiful because of their love and kindness and their faith in God. 

Proverbs 31:30 says, "Beauty is vein, favor is deceitful, but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

That is one of my favorite scriptures. It gives me such a peace. 

There are so many days where I look at myself and think, "Ahhh Gross", but God looks down on me and says, "Wow, what a beauty" 

What gets me this beauty? 

Well I'm so glad you asked. 

I personally think most of it comes from holiness. 

Proverbs 31:25 ...She is clothed in strength and dignity...

The other day a friend and I went shopping with her mom as we were waiting outside for her to check out some guy inside was talking about us. My friend's mom told us about it when she came out saying he said we looked saintly and how pretty we were. 

The bible says that women find power through not cutting their hair (I Corinthians 11:10) and women who practice modesty are precious in the sight of God. (I Peter 3:2-4)

I could sit here and give you scripture, after scripture about why being a woman is so great, but what really gets my attention is the relationship a woman has with God. 

I have been so blessed in my life with great Women of God who have just molded, and mentored me into who I am today. I can't wait for my relationship with God and the God given beauty of love and kindness shines through me the way it does through them. 

Women have an amazing duty in life, family and church. Its not to just be a submissive, long haired, skirt wearing caretaker, but its to be a strong, beautiful, kind, sweet, anchor and Godly influence in this world. People notice holiness. They notice when a woman is walking in the calling God has given her and with her smile alone she can change the hearts and lives of others. What an amazing gift. 

Yep, I'm a proud, Holy Ghost filled, strong, beautiful woman of God. 

And so are YOU! 

With Love, 

Ally

What's Next?

I always pray God's perfect will in my life. 

Lord do what you want with me. 

Let it not be about me, but about you. 

And I always seem to know what God's will is. 

What it is He wants me to do. 

And I always put Him first in my life. Always! 

But I don't know that I've ever been more uncertain. 

I mean I've doubted His will. 

But I always known what His will was. 

Even if it seemed impossible to reach. 

But right now I'm not even sure I know what His will is. 

I don't really feel like going into detail, but basically I had the money for school then my car broke down...

It seems as though all the doors for Gateway are shutting. 

I was so certain this is where God wanted me, but now I'm not so sure. 

And if it's not, then what is? 

Do I continue my education. Do I stay in Belleville. Or do I go elsewhere. 

On top of all this I have other stresses with my family and a friend that I won't get into, but lets just say it's not good. Hopefully one day it will be a testimony, but right now I'm stressing. 

Oddly though I'm so happy. 

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, but I'm happy nevertheless! 

Kinda nervous because I'm usually a more planned person, 

But I'm so happy it's ridiculous. 

The Lord has worked some crazy miracles in my life. 

Answered some prayers. 

Has given me hope. 

See what had happened was ..... hahaha 

 When I was 12 I met this guy. 

He liked my froggy slippers. 

Saw him again when I was 14. 

And never stopped liking him ever since. 

About 3 years ago he backslide. 

Got mixed up in some pretty bad stuff, but I never stopped praying. 

And I know many others did too.

I also never stopped loving him.

And I saw him again about 2 weeks ago. 

And his life is back on track. 

He's back in church. 

Better then ever. 

An amazing man of God. 

Completely Changed. 

The LORD is so good!!!!! 

Thus why I am so HAPPY:) 

Although I'm not sure what I am going to do to next. I'll just wait here patiently.... 

Waiting to hear from God!!!! 

The Journey isn't Over

9 Month ago I began a journey called Gateway. 

This is my last week for this year.

It's all coming to a close. 

Hopefully not an end.

I recently found out I still owe a lot of money to the school. 

And I didn't register on time so I have to wait till fall. 

That on top of the fact that I've just about had it with this place, 

from my things getting stolen, 

Gaining 15 pounds...at least,

At times feeling as though me and God's relationship has dwindled, 

And at times feeling as though I don't fit in here. 

But with all that being said I don't want to leave. 

I know I'm confusing. 

But truth be told I've never felt more at home and I know this is where God wants me.

At least for now. 

So why must it be so stressful. 

Well, my Grandma made a valid point. 

If everything was going good and was easy, 

and the devil wasn't trying to knock you down,

How would you know that this is God's will. 

Cause that's all this is ...the devil trying to knock me down. 

So with that in mind I decided to look at this from a different angle...

All the good things that have happened this year. 

I have grown spiritually

I have been used to do great things in His Kingdom

From preaching various places

To being a leader in the woman's ministry at the school called 31:30

and the far most amazing thing that has happened this year is...

The Girls Home.

That in itself has changed my life so drastically!!! 

And more importantly I know we have helped their lives too!!! 

God is doing great things in, through and with me that I could have never imagined possibly.

Just in one year.

Imagine what it will be like in four. 

So I can't leave, not yet...

God isn't finished with me yet. 

And even though it seems impossible to come up with the money ...

I've been here before. 

This same time last year I was worried about the same thing, 

But He pulled through. 

If He could do it then, He can surely can do it now!!!

With Love, 

Ally

Potter's Hands

Recently I wrote a blog entitled "Woman of God"

And I challanged God to bring on the light.

To show me the things He wants me to change

In order to be the woman he wants me to be. 

Word of advice...don't ever challange God unless you yourself are ready for the challange.

He succeeded the challange. 

And it hurts.

I knew it would though. 

Now the key is how to change those things that He has brought to my attention?

More prayer?

More reading of the Word?

More fasting?

See my problem really lies in the timing. 

I want to change NOW. 

Not a year from now, but RIGHT NOW!

And God is telling me, "slow down speed racer"

See God is the Author of Time and I quickly forget that more often then not. 

I also forget that the life that I live now is only the beginning. 

It's only a fragment of time, but also what I do now may be all I ever do for God and I think that is why I'm so anxious for God to mold me and to use me.

But His time is the best time and I put my life in His hands. 

Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord..." 

Not says me 

Not says my friends

Not says my family

But says The Lord! 

And Although right now it hurts 

And the pain seems impossible to bear

And the ultimate goal seems too unreal

I give my life to the Potter's hands. Jer 18

With Love

Ally

A Man Named Ray

Tired, hungry, and angry, I was at my wit end sitting in the Atlanta Airport Wednesday night delayed because the plane I was on was broken.

Until a man named Ray made his way over to my sister and I.

He was a bit sketchy, not gonna lie, but he came over in desperate need of a phone.

Of course I let him use it and I'm so glad I did because he made the rest of the night bearable.

My sister and I were starving. Our mom told us we should get a voucher for food, but the line was super long for the front desk and I didn't want to make a fool of myself, but Ray was hungry too so he helped us out and got us vouchers.

We spent the whole night with him, eating and conversing about everything and nothing.

I'm pretty sure he was strung out on something, but something about him struck me.

It wasn't his salt and pepper hair that was standing straight up.

It wasn't his leather tanned skin or bug eyes.

It wasn't how he kept saying my sister and I reminded him of his daughters.

It wasn't even his stories that had no meaning behind them and I'm not even sure were all true, I think he just wanted to talk.

It was his Christ like generosity.

He wasn't Godly by any means.

Although he continued to profess his belief in God, his actions and language said otherwise.

But when it came to lending a hand, a couple dollars, or a cigarette to someone, he wouldn't hesitate.

Even in that short time I spent with him and some of the stories he told me, I could tell he'd bend over backwards for even a stranger.

It got me thinking. It's sad Holy Ghost believers...

Who live Godly lifestyles in everything else...

can't even extend their hand to a brother or sister in Christ nevertheless give a couple dollars to a homeless person. Even though the bible says in Proverbs many times and many other books as well that those who give cheerfully will also be blessed.

Yet we don't want to give and even when we do, we don't do it cheerfully.

Thank you Ray you taught me lesson even on a horrible day I thought couldn't be good.

I conclude this with this over used statement, but so true.... WWJD :D

With Love,

Ally

Resurrection Realization

Came home for spring break.

Been here since Tuesday.

It's been a bit bumpy...usually is.

Arguing, complaining, a little laughter, a little tears.

I've been trying to stay pretty neutral and let my Holy Ghost joy shine through, but that is not always the easiest thing to do.

Needless to say I think I've failed.

Really all I want is to see my family back in church.

Back to the way things used to be.

I was really thinking about it today.

We all went to church.

It being Easter in all, they all came.

But I remember going, all of us, when it wasn't Easter.

It was just a plain ole' Sunday morning.

I miss that.

And I know since I left they haven't gone much, if any at all.

And it makes me wonder, if I came back would it help them.

I don't think it would and God knows it wouldn't help me.

I think the only way for them to come back is if they get a sudden realization of what Jesus did for them on Calvary.

My family knows good and well what the bible says Jesus did for us, but I don't think they really realize the love he showed.

I always tell my parents the reason I do what I do

The reason I live the life that I live

Is because Jesus died on the cross for me

And it's the least I can do for Him.

And that has become so much truer today then ever before.

Sitting in church this morning

Hearing the Crucifixion story for the 100th time

It suddenly hit me really hard what God really did for me.

It hit me like a brick in the stomach.

I suddenly felt so bad that someone would go through that for me

And my way of paying him back is what?

living a good life?

It just isn't enough.

I want to do more.

I have to do more.

I NEED to do more.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

I forgot due to all the crying and brick in my stomach feelings going on right now.

All I know is...more people need to get a realization of what Jesus did for you and I.

Especially my family.

With Love,

Ally

A Life of Singleness

I find it annoying...

How when I'm not in a relationship I so badly want to be in one, but once I do get one... I no longer want to be in one.

I find myself single again. I was in a relationship with a really great guy. A guy I should have been happy with, but was not. I always find something wrong. I'm never content.

It was last Saturday. I had just told him I just wanted to be friends. Yet, that same night I about ran out of gas and didn't have my credit card and he drove all the way out to my work to bring it to me...after I had pulled the friend card. I got off a 14 hour shift and was driving home. Not content. I wasn't content in the relationship, but I wasn't content with being single either. I was angry because this happens every time. I start talking to a guy, but then due to my uncontentment I break things off with him...EVERY TIME! I was angry that I couldn't find happiness in any relationship... even great ones.

So, I was complaining to God about it...of course. I was driving home and he brought to my attention something I read in a book I was reading. The book is Cara's Call by David Norris. There is point in the book where Cara finds herself at the altar alone one night after cleaning the church, giving God the reigns of her heart and if that means living a life of singleness, then so be it.

I started laughing. God ok I love you, but that just can't happen. I want a baby, lots of babies lol.

and husband, I really do.

I would love to say that, but I know even if I do, I won't be able to say it and actually mean it.

All of the sudden my eyes were drawn to the moon above me.

Have you ever found it cool that no matter where you are, or how many turns you take, you can still see the moon, in fact the moon never really moves? Kinda like God in our lives?

Well that night while I was driving it was to the right of me, but it started coming right in front of me as if I was driving right towards it and as it was God started speaking to me!

He told me that I wasn't going to live a life of singleness, but that he wanted me to give Him the reigns of my heart even if it means I may be single for while. He told me I should be content in that. I'm not alone. Is His love not enough? Is He not enough? He should be the guy I bring with me to church. He should be the guy I bring home to my parents. He should be the guy next to me that I introduce to all my friends and for right now He is the only guy I need and the only guy I will be content with.

So, I'm content with where I'm at and I'm lucky to have such an amazing guy in my life!

Love You Lord<3

Jude 1:21
keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ

Love,

Ally

Woman of God

Vesta Mangun, Claudette Walker, Nona Freeman, My Grandma, My Pastor's Wife,
Sis. Jordan, My Aunt CeCe, My Great Grandma

Talk about some women who have changed my life.

There are so many more too that I'm sure I've missed.

A couple years ago someone asked me a question.
She asked, "Why?, Why do you feel like you NEED to wear skirts and NEED to keep your hair uncut? Why is this so important to you?"

Obviously there are a million answers to this, but in order to help her understand I dug down deep. I didn't want to throw scripture in her face, or my own convictions. What I said is ....

There are women in my life who I look up to, women who have bettered my life, who have mentored me. Women who I hold in the highest regard and one thing all these women have in common is the holiness of God surrounding them and each of them hold a measure of modesty, holiness, and standards. Putting two and two together, I come to the conclusion that those two qualities go hand and hand. I want to be those women when I grow up. I want God's holiness to surround me. I want people, when they look at me not to see me, but rather to see Jesus in me.

Of course standards and modesty aren't the only thing that is going to get me to that place. There are so many other things I have to change!
SO MANY
So many that I was getting discouraged. I felt like it was an impossible feat, but recently God sent someone to give me a revelation.

Sis. Walker put it like this.

When I go into a bathroom that is dimly lit and look into the mirror ...I see nothing wrong with my skin, I'm looking pretty good today, but if I go into a bathroom with bright lights and look into the mirror...I see all my imperfections, all the zits, lines, and grey hairs.
It's the same spiritually. When I get closer to God's glory and light, His light will show me my imperfections, the things I need to change. Not because God wants me to feel horrible about my self, but so that I will become the woman of God he wants me to be.


So, bring on the light Lord...

I'm ready to change!!!

with love,
Ally

Busy Bee

Life is Stressful

I'm going non stop all day, every day.

Mon: 8-12 school, 12-1:30 work, 1:30-2:20 school, 2:30-3:30 work, 5-7 work

Tues: work 12-2 and then my other job 3-11

Wednesday: 6:45-8 work, 8-2 school, 5-7 work, 7-9 church

Thursday: 9-3 other job, 5-7 work

Friday: 6:45-8 work, 8-12 school, 12-1:30 work, 1:30 - 2:20 school, 3-11 other job

Saturday: other job 3-11

Sunday:church

When I do I have a social life?

I DON'T

When do I clean my room?

I DON'T

When do I sleep?

I DON'T!!!

Am I stressed?

YES!!!!

But I know God has a plan, I'm doing this all for him. I think that's really what is getting me down. I putting all this time into making money so I can be here, but I'm not really here...I'm always working:(

I've been working on this battered women shelter ministry for a month now. We finally settled things and are started a 4 week session every Tuesday night....I work every Tuesday night:(

So, needless to say I'm pretty devastated.

Lord, tell me what to do. Give me the strength and the patience to deal with this hectic life of mine. I know it's your will for me to be so help me to not grow weary in well doing.

Well, y'all pray for me!!!

Thanks<3

Love,

Ally

Break the Silence

So, I'm about to address the 600lb purple ape in the room that no one likes to talk about!

LUST & ADDICTION TO PORNO

I have met very few men in my life who have not at one point in time been addicted to pornography. Men are drawn by visuals. It's a proven fact. So, many times when you hear that a man was looking at porno you think nothing of it. That is his human nature.

But did you know that 40% percent of the porno watched online is actually viewed by woman.

NEWS FLASH

{WOMAN DEAL WITH LUST TOO}

The difference is we never talk about it becuase one, we figure no other woman deals with, second, it's not common, and third, people are going to think we are crazy. Especially as a christian woman, but fact is, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. We just aren't open about it.

I'm one of these woman.

Since I can remember I've delt with it. Without going into much detail I just want to show you it's not uncommon. Because I always thought it was. I thought I was some kind of freak of nature, that I had an overactive sexual desire, and that I was alone. I never talked about it with anyone and thus never delt with it. It was just always going to be something I struggled with.

Did I want this? Did I want to be lustfull. No of course not, but it seemed no matter how much I prayed, no matter how much I tried to stop, I just could not fight this battle.

It wasn't till I got to Gateway believe it or not that I started to really be able to overcome. In fact very recently. I came to a realization that I wasn't alone! It was so refreshing to be able to tell someone, to let it up off my chest, and for them to understand.

I WASN'T ALONE!

Am I still lustful? Yes, but I'm learning to overcome it and Im seeing progress. I'm stronger and at peace about it.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

I'm not perfect. We all have come short of the glory of God.

BUT YOUR NOT ALONE!

God will give you the strength to overcome.

You don't have to fight these battles alone and thinking your the only girl who deals with this.

LETS TALK ABOUT IT

...believe me when I say it helps!

With Love,

Ally

2012: This Year is Going to Be Swell

...even if it is the last one! haha:D

(Which by the way is NOT biblical)

Anyway, I'm super excited about this upcoming year. I have so much going for me. God is working in my life!

I got a job, a very good job!

I will be an aid to disabled people. I don't have many details yet, but I'm sure ya'll will hear about it:)

~It's good hours, and good pay~

I'm excited about school. I was worried about paying for it, but God once again made a way!

He continually does, and I still worry every time I'm in rough spot. I'm not sure why I do that.

It's never even a rough spot. It's more like a hill in front of me and I can't see past it, but God is always waiting at the top to help me over...ALWAYS!

I'm excited about what God has in store as well.

I'm sure whatever it is, it is going to be magnificent and I want to be apart of it!

I was once told that just because your technically not a minister yet does not mean you should not have a ministry already. Your life itself, in every aspect, should be a ministry. You should always do whatever you can for His kingdom. So, that is exactly what I am going to do starting this year.

See, none of us are promised another day, we aren't even promised our next breath. What are we doing with the time we do have? When your time is up, what will people remember about you? Did you make a difference? Did you leave a footprint?

My New Years Resolution:

To make a lasting, Kingdom footprint wherever I go & on whomever I come in contact with and in everything I do, do it with HIS Kingdom in mind.

No matter the ministry I am pursuing and whether or not I become or do whatever it is that I am pursuing, I will always have a ministry to reach this world!!!

Mark 16:15 "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."

So... 2012, I'M READY... BRING IT ON!!!!!

with love,

ally