Where is Your Worth?

I've been having specific people and burdens come to my heart during my prayer time. I've felt peoples pains, fears, and struggles. Especially during these unprecedented times. During these prayers a simple thought has come to mind. Where is your worth? I felt this was the perfect post for mother's day.

As women we have a many things weighing on our shoulders. See we set a standard for ourselves, a goal if you will and we all do it. We want certain things for our lives, for our home, for our children, etc and all the above. Or we feel like we aren't where we should be in life at this point. We haven't accomplished all that we wanted or things just didn't go the way we intended. I find myself comparing myself often to friends that seem to have it more put together and I want that for my home and my family.  It's easy to do and it's not necessarily wrong either. It good for us to want more, be more, have the best for our family, be the best versions of ourselves we possibly can be. We are always looking for ways to be content with who we are, and what we have and until we get it we are pressing toward that mark, steadily reaching for our goals and trying to fill that longing. Until we do and then we are on to the next chapter, faze, or ambition and goal to fulfill. Once again nothing wrong with this. We should be pushing to great things, be great people. But often, for me anyways, I've found myself still not content.

When I was young I had a standard on what I wanted in a man. I had a whole list ya'll and I refused to settle for less (I'm glad I didn't). At the time however I was told by people I needed to lower my standards, or that I was too picky or my favorite, I wasn't good enough for the man I wanted. At the time it utterly broke me. I was like 19-20 years old and I was having heart to heart crying fits with the Lord thinking I was gonna die alone. Looking back it was silly, but at the time it was a real concern of mine and I allowed it to get to me more then it should, and it allowed me to get hurt more then I should have let it. The problem was that I put my worth in finding a man and being a good gf/wife. I thought that was the epitome of my worth. If I could just find me a good, Godly man I will have it made in the world. I was wrong.

I was blessed with this Godly man a few years later when I decided it wasn't worth fretting any more and I focused on God, but then it was on to my next chapter. Motherhood. I wanted a baby so bad it hurt. Between my husband not being ready, and it taking time to conceive it would be 3 years before I would become a mom. Once again I found myself feeling worthless. Like I wasn't good enough. Like God didn't think I was good enough. I remember I had a dog that died and of course it broke me, but my first thought was, "well maybe that is why God won't give me a child, because he knows I won't be able to keep it alive." I know it sounds absurd looking back, but when you are wanting a child so bad and it doesn't happen you come up with all kinds of reasons as to why its not. Truth be told it just wasn't our time yet.

Now I find myself more like what I mentioned before, not where I should be at this point. I expected to be more involved in ministry and doing more for His kingdom. I want to reach more souls, and be a voice with hope and love across the nation, but instead I have a hard time reaching even the souls in my life and it bogs me down sometimes. I feel as though I'm not talented enough, not worthy of such a calling or it just isn't God's will for my life. Of course I have no idea what the future holds and even writing this I write with hesitancy because of the transparency of it, but there it is. I also want nice things for my family; a nice home, filled with warm and inviting decor, nice clothes (what girl doesn't), I'd love to be able to get my husband a new truck and the list could go on. I'd love to continue my education and be an administrator of some kind. Lofty goals and silly wants and desires, but all real nonetheless.

As I mentioned wanting to be a wife, wanting to have children and even now wanting a good life for this family I've been blessed with or to do more for God is a wonderful ambition, but it can not be where I find my worth because I will always fall short. I'm not always the perfect wife, and mother. I do not have the nicest home, the best paying job, and I'm not skinny and hott lol ( not that, that is a goal for me, but for some it may be). I'm not all those things because I am HUMAN!!!!
Read that with me YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN! 
And guess what human's fail. That is okay, but it is also why our worth can not only be in ourselves or earthly things. We will never be content. Humanity in it of itself is unfulfilling. It's fleeting.

The bible says in Matthew 6:19-20 "Lay not up for yourself treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourself treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt and where thieves do not break through nor steal."

You ever heard the phrase don't put all your eggs in one basket? All these things are and can be beautiful and there is nothing wrong with wanting them, but if that is where all your trust, hope and faith is- if that is all you think you need to be worthy and you fall short, you will find yourself less fulfilled then before. You have to put a little more worth in your heavenly Father.

You don't need a man to be worthy
You don't need a child to be worthy
You don't need beauty to be worthy
You don't need a degree to be worthy
You don't need nice things to be worthy

Yes, all those things can give you worth, but, God says you are already worthy!

Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies."

So, sisters where is your worth today? I pray you find it in God for he is and always will be everlasting.