A few years ago I heard someone say something that has always resonated with me. I can't tell you who it was or what they even said verbatim, but the concept has been a steady ringing in my ear every time I go to pray.
They said something along the lines of
Every time I pray and ask God for things I end it with "but God Your will be done".
Now that seems simple enough, sure, but really it is harder then you realize because in saying that, if said truthfully, you are really saying "God even if what I want isn't what you want, that is okay".
I don't know about you, but I've prayed some prayers that I not only wanted, but desired strongly. Prayers that if God didn't take care of it, it would literally break me and I would ultimately suffer. Prayers that I just knew had to happen or else. Prayers that were really me begging and pleading with tears dripping down my face. And every time at the end I tend to say those words, "but God Your will be done".
However do I really mean it? Do I really mean if it's not Your will Lord that will be okay? Will I be okay if my friend doesn't get healed from Cancer or if my desires and dreams are not met, but rather redirected. Am I still going to keep on going, keep on worshiping, keep on living for God if He doesn't answer my prayers the way I want them to be answered?
There is this country song that sings, "Some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers"
It really is a beautiful thing if you think about all the prayers you prayed and you used to wish for certain things that maybe now have turned out for the better, but then there are prayers that weren't answered and we question God and His power. We question our beliefs and we are discouraged because although somewhere in our heart of hearts we know all things happen for a reason and work together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:28) we are hurt, broken and don't see how this is for the best. For years I was angry about a situation that was out of my control. I prayed all the time for circumstances to be different and I still to this day pray for these people. I, many nights, cried myself to sleep or whaled in my prayer closet asking God to change things, to change their hearts, to help me and it never happened. I eventually moved on and went to bible college and found myself ministering to people who had experienced the same circumstances and I learned then why God allowed those things to happen. My heart still breaks for them and as I said I still pray for them daily. I'm not here to say you should get to that point of peace instantly, I'm not even there entirely myself and I'm dealing with some more unanswered prayers now that I feel God is going to end up answering them differently then I want, but I am here to say its possible. God loves you and everything he does serves a purpose.
That is a hard thing swallow sometimes.
A lot of times.
You may not be at the place to accept that message yet, but one day someone will come along who has dealt with the same burdens and trials you have endured and you will be the voice of hope and love that they need and it will give some light to your darkness. If I could go back and change things I would, but I can't, but I can take something the devil meant for evil and the world meant to hurt me with and make something beautiful out of it and learn to lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the Lord for His ways are higher then my ways and His thoughts are higher then my thoughts. He is my comforter, my peacemaker, and my rock. If all else fails I know that at least I am not fighting this battle alone.
So I will continue to pray
Not my will, but God's
