Crazy Girl

There is a country song by Eli Young Band called 'Crazy Girl'
The chorus goes something like this...

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman, come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy, girl

This song came to mind a couple days ago as I was sitting in my dorm room crying because I guy here at my school basically called me a hooker (because my skirt was "too tight") in front of a ton of people including parents and pastors. I was so embarrassed and I don't know how you react when your embarrassed, but I cry. So there I was upset and angry at the guys at my school!
This wasn't the first time these guys have upset me and I wasn't the only girl who felt this way.
In fact many of the girls were upset and were talking to me about how ugly they feel because these guys told them so or were joking about them or they over heard them say there were no cute girls at this school. So, it got me thinking "am I ugly", and "why do these guys feel this way" and my conclusion is simple....
WHO CARES!
This is for all you girls... YOU ARE NOT UGLY!
First of all your Pentecostal young ladies so regardless you are pretty! You are draped in the Glory of God and you embody holiness. It doesn't get any prettier then that. Second guys are not men they are boys and they obviously aren't who God has planned for you life because whoever God does have for you is going to think you are GORGEOUS inside and out!
And lastly and most importantly there is already somebody who thinks that and loves you unconditionally. His name is JESUS!
I mentioned before that country song 'Crazy Girl' this song came to mind as if God was singing it to me. I'm crazy to think that I'm not special, that I'm not beautiful, and if you are feeling down and out and think you will never get married because no guys like you come to Jesus, let Him hold you ...He loves you like crazy girl- and He has someone special for you just let Him work out the details.

Love,
Ally

I am where I'm supposed to be...

Last weekend a group of students went to Wisconsin for a outreach trip. I signed up for a bunch of them, but I think it was God that I went on this on.

What was supposed to be a 7-hour trip took more like 8, but finally we got there about midnight Friday night. Saturday morning we got up early and headed to the small missions church there in De Pere. This church changed my life.

They have church at a community center they rent out every Sunday and Wednesday night. So, Saturday we sat outside the building and made up little track baggies to hang on the doors. There were eight people from Gateway and about ten or fifteen from the church and we went door knocking (sort of). It was more like just passing out tracks and hanging them on doors, but we did speak to a few people, which all went well. Everyone was nice and receptive.

We then held a little praise service in the park and served BBQ. Only one person from the door knocking came out, but that is one more soul then we had before. Everyone was so worried about how this service was going to work out because we were not prepared and neither was the church, but the service turned out amazing. It was simple, but impacting and I know God spoke to some people. Including me. It just goes to show it doesn’t matter where or how you have church God can still move.

Sunday morning we went to their church. It was small, but on fire. We sang a few songs and one of Gateways own preached. Altar call is where my life was touched. The service was a typical “We got the blood of the cross” message. Great, but not really impacting my life, but it did touch some people including the pastor’s daughter whose husband nine weeks ago was sedated and is now in a hospital with brain damage. They have two babies and before he was a very smart guy working with some company where he and only one other guy could do that job. Needless to say she was dealing with some pain. So I went and prayed for her and as I was this woman leans into me and says “I rebuke the spirit of fear, and I pray you listen to what God asks you to speak to others…I know you have a word from God for her” and instantly something fell off of me as if there was a muzzle on my mouth and then all of the sudden there was not. I spoke something to her, but I have no idea what it was, but whatever it was it must have meant something because she broke out in praise.

Then there was a girl, whose name was Rachel. Her, her husband and her two kids attended this home missions church. You could tell they were fairly new converts and something was telling me she was still dealing with some trials and temptations and maybe even some discouragement about whether or not God wanted her in His kingdom. So I spoke to her to and the same thing, The Spirit of God broke in her.

Let me get one thing straight before I go on this isn’t about me, this isn’t even me because the me I know could not and would not do this. This was and is strictly God.

As we were getting ready to leave the lady that had earlier laid hands on me came up to me and looked me square in the eyes with tears in her eyes and said something along lines of “ You have an extreme calling on your life. Don’t quit, God will make a way and he will give you the words to speak”. Then she proceeded to beg me to keep in touch with her. That is not all. I had stopped talking to her and she was talking to another guy from our group and some guy from the church came up and started to converse with them as well. She said something like “ you have special calling on your life” he says thanks and then points to me and says so does she. The guy from the church agreed with her and said, “ I could tell when she was praying”. Two people who had not talked about it together pretty much said the same thing. The lady told me also that she had noticed something on Saturday, but had waited to see what would happen Sunday.

I’m overwhelmed right now. I’m not sure how I feel. Joy? Yes, but also surprised and shocked. I’ve been praying about my prayer lately because I felt like my prayers were not all they could be, but according to this lady and guy they are far beyond what I thought they were, although what happened today was not me it was God, but I think that’s the point of all this. Where I’m at is not about me. What I pray is not my words, but God’s. This calling is not for me or about me. It is about God.

I don’t really understand what all happened that weekend or this whole Gateway experience, but I do know this is where I’m supposed to be. I thank God for believing in me. I will do what He has called me to do.

With Love,

Ally

Not What I Expected, but Learning Everyday

I remember when I first started talking about going to Gateway. A lot of people told me to be careful because a lot of people go there and change for the worst. They make the wrong friends and the ministry they once had, they no longer feel called to it. I was told from many to not be naive in believing that everyone there was there for the right reasons. I understood them, but didn't take it to heart, but man they wern't kidding. It seriously suprises me how many fake people there are, and how many people who call themselves christians, but don't truely act like Christians.

That isn't all that suprises me. Its not all I thought it was going to be. I recieved a work study, which I felt so blessed to have only to find out i'm working 20 hours a week, double shifts Monday through Thursday and a shift on Sunday and I don't have time for another job becuase of school. I also am always late for church because I work till 7.

I HATE BEING LATE FOR CHURCH!!!

There are many other things that have not been all I had expect, but despite the dissapointment there has been some good things that I didn't expect either.

I learn something new everyday. I have these classes that are insane like Pentecostal Theology, and Old Testament that I'm not even sure how i'm going to pass, but I love going to because lessons are so good. We pray before every class, I love that!

I've come to realize that I can easily fall into this state of complacency here. Go to class where I learn about God, go to church, pray the same prayer. Think "Oh I'm at Gateway I don't have to try any harder at this relationship with God stuff", but really I need to try harder. I want to grow daily. I want to leave changed...for the better. I've also come to realize waking up a few minutes earlier every morning and going to the chapel to pray has made a huge difference on my day to day expereince. It gives me patience about all the stuff that hasn't been what I expected and helps me to stay strong and to grow everyday.

I'm loving Gateway more and more everyday!

And I'm so excited see what all God has planned for my life. I know that is why I'm here so no reason to worry about the small things! God wants me here lol

With Love,

Ally<3