Lessons Learned;Bridges Burned

               I'm sorry its been a while since I've wrote, but the point of this blog is to share my life lessons and as of late its not that I haven't learned any life lessons, I have, its just the things that have happened that have taught me those life lessons are things I don't want to share. Personal things that have blown up in my face and resulted in shame, hurt and ultimately drama I don't want any part of.

So this post is going to be a little different then usual. Usually I'm an open book and explain how I learned these life lessons, but this post I'm just going to share the lessons not how I came to this conclusion.

One of the reasons for this is one of the life lessons I learned was being careful about who I share my testimony and life with. At the time it may seem like it will help an individual, but sometimes it doesn't. It hinders them. Also, you can't trust everyone with all the details of your life. Psalms 3 talks about being careful with what you say and I think its more than not cursing or saying nasty jokes. It's in all things be careful. Be meek, which is something I struggle with.

Second life lesson I learned is be careful how you react. I was angry, and hurt and no one seemed to care. They only cared that I get punished. No one heard my side of the story, they only listened to the lies, but my reaction to it all could have been better. I could have once again been more meek and quiet. I should have shared what was going on with my pastor, which I never did. Not because I didn't respect them just because I didn't think to. I'm very absent minded and I keep to myself. Not a good combination. The bible talks about being submissive to your leaders, which is a good rule of thumb. I completely agree and I feel like I am, but my actions say otherwise. I just need to use the God given wisdom that's been bestowed upon me and realize I would be no where and no one if it wasn't for God and the people he put over me, which I know this and believe it to be true, but I like to pretend like my life is in control, I'm independent, and I got this. When in reality I just need swift kick to the head and good dose of humility.

Humility. AHHH

The word alone scares me.

I like being proud of me.

I like being in control.

I like pretending like everything is ok and putting on this "I don't care" front.

Which I don't think is wrong.

It's just not right.

My third lesson I learned is doing humble and submissive right.

There has to be a balance.

I can still be independent, proud and in control, but I have to realize that that sense of pride is from God and the individuals he has put in my life to get me where I am, that I can be independent but still lean on God and the people he has put in my life and last, but definitely most important that God is in control not me.

I've learned its not that I'm against authority. I've just been for myself a little too much. Never holding myself accountable to anyone. It's a hard concept to grasp when I've learned to live for God on my own without my parents discretion and I went to a huge church where the Pastor barely knew who I was, but it's a concept I need learn and be in prayer about.

1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

The last lesson I learned is Judgment is ugly.
You all know the story of heathen woman who the town wanted to stone until Jesus intervened and said any of you who are without sin cast the first stone and of course no one could do that because no one is without sin and what I take from that is that no sin is greater than or less than another.
It's been one of my goals in life, especially after being judged myself, to not be judgmental.
Who am I?
I make mistakes daily, I have no authority and its not Christ like.
I recently encountered a situation I could have been extremely judgmental and could have handled very wrong. I didn't think much of it until someone came up to me and thanked me for how I handled it and I realized then how rare it is for people to not be judgmental. Usually people react by spreading rumors and tattle telling on the individually, especially Christians, which is sad.

Jesus came to show us what true love is. Why can't we as christians (Christ-like) show that same love.

What I Learned the First 6 Months of Marriage

I was going to title this blog 

"What No One told me about Marriage"

But that would be a lie.

I was told many things...

like how its the hardest part of the marriage having to learn how to live with someone, adjust to all their different ways of doing things, different family cultures, and more importantly how they spend MONEY!

People always told me money, sex and religion are the three biggest argument starters. 

Now, I don't know if Spencer and I are doing it wrong or if we are just freaking awesome at this marriage thing, but where he puts his tooth brush or how he cleans or doesn't clean is the least of my concern. We both love Jesus

And lets be real...sex is definitely not an argument starter ... ever! 

Money is our biggest argument starter, but thats just because there is never enough, not because we spend it carelessly. Both of us are pretty frugal. 

So what have I learned...

I learned that marriage may not be easy, but its not hard when its with the right person.

We have our arguments sure, but its never something that can't fixed with a smile, a kiss, and sweet gesture. When your husband is your best friend and God is number one in your marriage problems are just that, problems! Problems with solutions. Problems that will be laughed about one day. Problems that only make you stronger and closer as a couple. 

Let me tell you a story that literally happened weeks into our marriage. 

Spencer had been wanting a big screen TV for some time. 

He finally convinced me that it was a good idea and had gotten the money together.

We pick up the TV, bring it home, and set it up.

Sometime between bringing it home and setting it up, it got nicked making it unusable. 

Cracked, damaged, nada, no good. 

Its a funny story now, but at the time it was the worst thing ever. 

We had the biggest fight I seriously think we will ever have. 

Now looking back we learned a lot these past 6 months. 

We are much closer then some couples we know who have been married for years. 

I can't ever see me being ok with being apart from him.

I can't see us ever getting in a huge argument. 

I don't know, maybe it hasn't been long enough,

but I think we are just crazy like that. 

We work. 

We fit together.

God knew exactly what he was doing. 

Marriage is Great. Don't let the world fool you. 

We've been told so many times

"oh just let the first marriage get over quickly so you can get to your second one!" 

"You just got married? I'm sorry!" 

or my favorite...

"Is your wife crazy?"

These people obviously never realized the problem is more than surface deep. 

Its all about the heart. 

You can not just have love for one another, 

you have to have love for the One and Only. 

Jesus Christ. 

But what I've learned most is...

Marriage is day to day, hour to hour. 

You have to put in what you expect to get in return.

He has to constantly be your sweetheart (even when he does something wrong)

and as much as I hate to admit it, you have to constantly be a wife. 

I know we live in an equal world, but being a biblical wife is so important in keeping a marriage strong. 

It definitely hasn't been easy. We've had our ups and downs, but overall this first 6 months has been amazing. I wouldn't change a thing....well except for maybe the cracked TV!