That Crazy Pentecostal Girl

I could sit here and go on and on for 3 to 5 paragraphs about how pathetic my life is, but I rather not~ I was sitting in my bed a week or so ago crying about how pathetic my life is! Sometimes I feel so useless like there is nothing I can do about it. I wish I could help my church more, get them more into it, but I don't even know where to begin with a church of 1000 people, give or take! I wish I had more money for school, the only reason I was going to a secular school to begin with was because I thought it was paid for, but its not completely and now I feel like I shouldn't be spending money on something God hasn't even called me to do! I wish I was more of an example to people around me, from family, to friends at school and church! AND BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!! Like I said I can go on forever! But as I was sitting there freaking out about everything it hit me, a little voice, telling me to not be afraid and to stop worrying, "For God has not given me the spirit of fear...

My boyfriend is always telling me I'm too negative! Most of the time he's being sarcastic, but I have noticed at times I complain way to much! I started noticing every time I would say something negative and the thought about what I was saying. What if instead of complaining, I fixed whatever it is that is wrong!!!???? *****LIGHT BULB***** I was reading a book the other day about some of the worlds greatest known people. It mentioned Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, and my favorite Helen Keller. I started realize while reading these stories, I have no reason to complain! In fact I have all the more reason to rejoice!!!!! I have sat on the pews of church complaining for way to long about how no body here cares about God, or about the youth and blah blah blah and Im not the only one. A few of my friends have done the same so I went right along with them every time, but IM DONE! I don't know what I can do to fix this situation exactly, or s...

I don't know much about love. I loved once....i think! Needless to say Im very bad a determining the difference between love and infatuation! ♥ I was thinking about my birthday, which is on tuesday! I'll finally be 18 ahhhh crazy! Crazy to think I've been alive for this long Crazy to think that i have people on my life who have been with me all 18 years! Crazy to think how much they truly love me! ♥ ♥ LOVE ♥ .... Such a a strong word, yet I use it all the time and people say it to me all the time! And my question is - do they honestly mean it! I'm sure they have good intentions, and they probably do love me, but I wanna talk about a different kind of love! The kind of love only found in this story book! No, not Cinderella! Not Little Bo Peep! Actually no, A good story is found in the book of John, 3rd ch., 16th verse "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." ♥...

"Turning Point" Where do I even start I don't know! In the beginning of summer I was not planning on going to camp at all, but it worked where I really wanted to and was able to, so I packed my bags and went! I was expecting something great, but I couldn't have imagined how great! Every night was just another revelation, blessing and out pouring! Like I was thinking all week how I was going to tell you all about it and now that Im sitting here writing it out, words can't even express the power, and anointing in each service and all throughout the camp! Each night I would start out just doing my thing, praising God, not really feeling anything, but be the end of the night my face was planted in the floor! And its times like that when I know Im in the right place, the right "religion" if i must say, and the right atmosphere that I wish I could be in 24/7!!!!! Its almost like every night and even morning services God pried my heart open and Bro. Collins ( T...

Thats all I want...." More " Conquerers Camp 2010 - God as something big going on! UPCI florida youth district does camp every year for different age groups...this past week was 15 & 16! I went up a couple nights, mainly because I wanted to pray and be there for our young ladies! Man, did God move or what! I went every night, but wednesday and Im so glad I did! Not only is it awesome to see these girls worshiping and praising God, but I got anointed from the sermons as well! Monday Night - You do not have to fight this battle alone Tuesday Night - Be A servant! Thursday night- Take this home-for real When your fasting for your youth, and you see things come to past, your faith sky rockets! These young ladies, and the one guy who went, were impacted this week like they haven't been in a long while and Im so excited for them! God has some awesome things, no not awesome, EPIC Miracles coming! I'm going to college camp this up coming week and I cant wait to be blessed...

I fasted last Wednesday, just one day and oh the difficulty! I don't understand why its so hard for me, but every time I get ultra sick:( I get a terrible migraine and by the end of the day i feel like I'm going to puke, what I don't know since i didn't eat! And on top of that O feel like its pointless because at the end of the day i stuff my face! So why do I do this, and is it really working! Well I'm ganna do it again this week and for 3 days, but I'm ganna try to do it more like a Daniel's fast! Your probably wondering why, why put myself through that again! Well call me crazy, but I think its working! One day of fasting and I already see things changing! I was fasting and praying for two things in particular, One-My youth group and Two- My dad to be healed! Today in church God's spirit came and anointed the place, The service was on fire! Best part, there were kids, youth, my friends down there praying in the spirit who usually never are!!!!...

My trip to Illinois is over:( But it was worth every penny! A lot of great things happened just within the two week i was there, but my favorite and most likely to last was how my relationship with God grew! Bro. George Szabolcsi, My Gramma's pastor, and I had an awesome conversation the Sunday before I left; I told you about it in the previous Blog, but I just can't get over how everything he said and did for me is going to impact my life. It's exactly what i need! He sent me home with 2 books, "Fasting" by Jentezen Franklin and "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" by Jim Cymbala! My Great Gramma also sent me home with 2 books, "Pathway to Purpose" by Deborah Joyner Johnson and "Dare to Dream" by Sandra Mcleod Humphrey! I'm reading "Fasting" right now and I'm addicted! I never thought it was for me because I would get sick when I wouldn't, but I think its all in my head and I feel like I need to do this! Matthew 6 talks abo...