Now people don't like to talk about pregnancy and birth or even life after. They tell you its beautiful and worth all the pain and when its not you feel like a failure as a mother. My first pregnancy although quick was crap. I was sick as a dog the entire pregnancy. thus causing my son to be itty bitty and come 3 almost 4 weeks early. Despite being little it hurt (got there too late for an epidural) and I literally crapped myself. Yeah they won't tell you that in any of the books you read. Recovery, however, was nothing in comparison to recovery after a c section, which was also crap in that I couldn't crap for over a week, or move without assistance or drugs. All the while taking care of newborn and a 1 1/2 year old. I am blessed though. I've always had loads of help from family, and church family. I can't even fathom doing this alone and to you women who do -more power to you!!!! I seriously hold you in high regard. Heck I hold any woman who has given birth and raise children in high regard. It is isn't easy, it isn't always beautiful and some days it really doesn't seem worth it. Yep, I just said what all moms everywhere are thinking. Some days suck! Some days are hard! Some days you want to crawl in a hole and not come out... ever. SN: postpartum depression is real and happens to even the best of mommies. Even with family and Jesus by your side.
But then some days your little boy comes up to you and gives you a kiss for no reason, crawls up into your lap and falls asleep ( right after destroying your living room of course). Some days the baby sleeps all through the night. ( or at least more then hour) Some days your hubby does the dishes without being asked and its in those small moments you remember who you are. You're somebodies mommy, somebodies wife, somebodies friend and you are worth something and life will go on after those sleepless nights, messy houses and dirty diapers. Life will go on...
and before you know it those messy houses and dirty diapers are no more. I am not there yet and won't be for sometime, but that is what they say. They also say to cherish these moments .... yeah I don't think any one cherishes a colicky baby who is not content unless held or eating, but its in those small moments. Those brief, sometimes subtle moments of contentment, sweetness amidst the chaos, or stillness amidst the mess. Its in those moments that you push on one more day, one more minute or even one more second and remember you are doing a fine job, you're a good mom, wife, friend- and you're a freaking awesome woman who's got this!
My house on any given day
a rare moment of sweetness
