That Crazy Pentecostal Girl

I find it annoying... How when I'm not in a relationship I so badly want to be in one, but once I do get one... I no longer want to be in one. I find myself single again. I was in a relationship with a really great guy. A guy I should have been happy with, but was not. I always find something wrong. I'm never content. It was last Saturday. I had just told him I just wanted to be friends. Yet, that same night I about ran out of gas and didn't have my credit card and he drove all the way out to my work to bring it to me...after I had pulled the friend card. I got off a 14 hour shift and was driving home. Not content. I wasn't content in the relationship, but I wasn't content with being single either. I was angry because this happens every time. I start talking to a guy, but then due to my un contentment I break things off with him...EVERY TIME! I was angry that I couldn't find happiness in any relationship... even great ones. So, I was complaining...

Vesta Mangun, Claudette Walker, Nona Freeman, My Grandma, My Pastor's Wife, Sis. Jordan, My Aunt CeCe, My Great Grandma Talk about some women who have changed my life. There are so many more too that I'm sure I've missed. A couple years ago someone asked me a question. She asked, "Why?, Why do you feel like you NEED to wear skirts and NEED to keep your hair uncut? Why is this so important to you?" Obviously there are a million answers to this, but in order to help her understand I dug down deep. I didn't want to throw scripture in her face, or my own convictions. What I said is .... There are women in my life who I look up to, women who have bettered my life, who have mentored me. Women who I hold in the highest regard and one thing all these women have in common is the holiness of God surrounding them and each of them hold a measure of modesty, holiness, and standards. Putting two and two together, I come to the conclusion that those two qualities go hand and...